The reason I started this blog was to share the nitty gritty parts of motherhood that people don’t talk about, and to find a way to own them. You see, mom’s like us don’t start blogs to post about our monthly budgets or our daily planners. Moms like us start blogs to talk about those things that the daily-planner-moms probably know nothing about.
Things like, our kids pooping on our bed, RIGHT AFTER changing the sheets. Things like, our husbands coming home from working out of town all week and going and laying down because they’re exhausted from the week. Let’s talk about something. There’s a HUGE difference between physical exhaustion and mental exhaustion. Being tired after a day of physical activity DOES NOT compare to being mentally exhausted from kids sucking you dry all day.
– like “Hello?! I need your help here! On a scale of Mother Theresa to Bi-Polar, i’m at a strong Adolf Hitler right now. I need you to deal with these shiite-muslims that you left me with all week!”
I notice that these “daily-planner-moms”, or “DPM’s” usually seem to have husbands who are Mr.Helpful when it comes to kids and even housework. They help you after dinner. They sweep the floor. They lead the family in bible studies and prayer. They take interest in you and your hobbies. All of that is great and wonderful and i’m happy that you DPM’s found someone so awesome. I’m just simply saying that there’s a strong correlation as to WHY you’re so organized and why you don’t have “hey my kid pooped on my bed” problems like us.
Then there’s things like siblings fighting like its World War 3, and we as mom’s shouting in their faces like a drill sergeant. Daily-planner-moms have their kids trained so well, that that don’t really fight with each other. In fact, they LIKE each other. Foreign concept, I know!
I dream of being a mom that has her things in order. I want to be the mom that has her kids trained so well, that grocery shopping with them isn’t a nightmare. But HOW can I do this and also put in no effort? because that’s where i’m at, mmkay?
I had a friend once tell me that the reason she wasn’t working out at 5 AM anymore, was because she wanted to be, “a mom on purpose.” This person is the most sincere person I know, and one of the best mom’s that I know. She’s the type of person that you want to be like when you grow up, except you’re already grown. As much as I try though, I just can’t seem to be like her. I don’t find myself saying, “I want to be a mom on purpose.”
I find myself saying things like, “I’M GOING TO GET A JOB AND YOU’RE GOING TO GO TO DAYCARE!!!” I don’t know if that’s a threat to my kids at all, but i’m going to pretend that it is. They probably pray at night that I do get a job and are awakened to their horror every morning when i’m still here and still their stay-at-home-mom.
All jokes and sarcasm aside, I do love my kids and I know that being able to stay at home with them is such a blessing. I would hate to HAVE to work, forcing me to leave my kids in someone else’s care all day. I like that I have a choice on whether I can work or not. Although the extra money would be nice, I know I can’t get these moments back while my children are growing. That song, “You’re gonna miss this” by Trace Adkins plays in my head a lot. Like when I see spaghetti flung all over the carpet. Or bath water all over the bathroom floor. Or cat food spilled for the billionth time that day. or.. or.. you get the point. I just quickly yell back in my head, “NO I’M NOT! I’M NOT GONNA MISS THIS! I’M NOT GONNA WANT THIS BACK!”
Let’s just be honest, sum deeze things we can live without. and we WON’T miss them EVER.
Some days are better than others. Some days I find myself crying because i’ve yelled all day and didn’t realize it until night time. Those are the nights that I lay in bed hoping that my kids didn’t go to bed with broken spirits. Other days I get everything done around the house and I didn’t yell once and everyone was happy, but I STILL go to bed with doubt. I always feel guilty for the things I didn’t do enough of. I didn’t read the bible to them. I didn’t pray with them. I didn’t talk to them about the things that are important in life.
And at the end of the day, I just hope that i’m raising little people that will grow up to make good life choices.
If you’re a daily-planner-mom and you want to drop some tips for mom’s that will never be a DPM, just leave a comment. I would love to have your feedback. 🙂