I’ve been listening to Rachel Hollis’ book called, “Girl, Wash Your Face”. My sister-in-law raved over it. You can find Rachel’s entire blog site here. She talks about finding your passion for something and just going for it. Not next week, not next year, not tomorrow, but right this second, start taking steps toward your goals.
This really has inspired me to start blogging again. I basically took the summer off from blogging. With moving and kids out of school, I just couldn’t find much motivation to whip out the ancient old laptop. It’s easy to blog about something when it’s eating at you or you feel like you just have to let people know about something… but when you don’t have much going on in life, blogging doesn’t seem as easy.
My favorite blogs to read are those that make me feel like I can conquer the world after reading them. Those or marriage articles where I feel like an invisible journalist was inside my home and writing down my every move. Those articles where it’s so relatable to your life.
So tonight I want to write to you about incontinence. Oh yeah that’s right, you read that right. After all that stuff up above where it made you think I was going to write to you about something wise… Well I wasn’t. I just have this incredibly embarrassing, awful, hilarious story to tell you.
I used to work at a childcare place inside of a prestigious gym “club” where I lived in Missouri. I loved that job because I could take my kids with me there. It was a break from reality because I got to socialize with other moms while getting paid to do it. There were several moms who worked there, but there were also those young college kids that worked there too. These weren’t typically the responsible college kids that NEEDED to work. These were the rich kids that just needed to tell their parents that they actually had a job, so that they could keep using their parents credit cards for necessities.. Rent.. Food.. Clubbing.. Alcohol.. etc…
One of these college girls I actually ended up being friends with. We’ll call her, “Janie” for protection purposes. Like when I say we ended up being friends, I mean that we went to lunch a few times and I might’ve ended up with her at the bar a time or two. She was eighteen and I was twenty-two. I had two kids at the time.
Some time had passed and I ended up pregnant with me third because.. my husband and I love a good challenge. Actually we don’t. But we ended up pregnant with a third nonetheless. About 3 months after I had my 8.4 pound baby, I decided that I needed a spray tan. I was on a strict budget at the time, but Janie happened to work at the tanning place next door and said, “Oh yeah I’m working, just come by dude.” So I sped over there faster than a nun to prayer call.
As soon as I shut the door to the room where the tanning booth was, all of a sudden I had this urge to pee. What is it about our bodies that do that to us?! My body thought that I was in the bathroom so it triggered that urge, I swear. I even thought of that at the time. But I’m already in the door and like.. I didn’t know where the bathroom was and didn’t want to have to deal with it, so I just started undressing. I’m like, “Don’t worry bladder, we got dis.”
Little did I know, after my third and biggest baby to date, we did not, “got dis.”
I’ve done the mystic tan thing before, so I know it’s quick and I’m a mom after all, I have to hold it all the time. I go ahead and get in. I’m standing there just trying so hard to hold it in but the urge is getting stronger by the second. I kept trying to think of ways I could just pee in the room without anyone finding out but I couldn’t think of anything besides peeing in the trashcan. All of a sudden… there’s splashing on my feet and I look down and I’m full on pee’ing guys. I mean, I can’t make this stuff up. I WISH THAT I WAS MAKING THIS UP. The sad thing is that I didn’t even know I was pee’ing until it was SPLASHING ON MY FEET. That’s what happens when you have too many babies too quickly. It ain’t pretty. I tried to stop it but there’s no stopping abilities when you have no pelvic floor muscle. I. was. mortified.
I felt like the people on the sims game that you would get tired of playing with, but you didn’t want to have to start over and build another house, so you would just build a wall around them to where they couldn’t get out until they died. They would be showing you the bubble above their head for, “door” and “toilet” and then you would hit the fast forward button until they pee’d on themselves several times and then the grim reaper came. Don’t lie, you guys. If you played the sims and didn’t do that, well.. then I just don’t believe you. We all made sacrifices on that game…
I felt like that without the dying in the end. I mean I died a little inside that day, honestly. I finish the tan because what else was I going to do? I was going to get my money’s wo… Oh wait.. It was free… I was going to get my freebie! Hindsight is 20/20. If I would’ve known about the cleaning cycle afterwards, I would have stood in there and claimed to never hear it tell me that it was cleaning and just let that shower get me all wet and pretended that the liquid on the floor was just all water.
So I get out and get dressed and throw like 23 rags on the floor of the tanning booth and wipe it up and then throw it in the laundry basket. No big deal, no one will ever know.. Except by the time I was leaving, I felt SO guilty that my friend would have to do my pee laundry, that I texted her and told her. We were friends after all, I was sure we would just laugh it off.
Girl was I so wrong.
I’m paraphrasing because it’s been a while since this happened, but the conversation went a little like this –
Me – “Hey Janie, I feel really bad, but I have to tell you this because I don’t want you going to wash the towels tonight and having to touch them. I accidentally pee’d in the booth and used the towels to clean them up…”
J – “OMG KATRINA ARE YOU SERIOUS? THAT IS SO DISGUSTING! WTF I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE THIS. I’M SO GROSSED OUT RIGHT NOW. THAT IS THE SICKEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD OF!
Me – “I know, it is. I’m so sorry! I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I didn’t know what else to do! I was too embarrassed to tell you in person.”
I honestly don’t remember if there was a text back after that. Talk about kicking you when you’re down! I might’ve been wishing that I hadn’t said anything and that she would’ve touched those pee towels after all.
As embarrassing as that whole scene was, I’m sure that there are some worse situations that you moms have gone through. I mean, at least it wasn’t poop right? I seem to always use those, “At least” scenarios to make myself feel better.
I’m happy to report that Janie got over that whole thing and we now laugh about it and bring it up like.. at least three times a year. “Hey remember that time you pee’d in the tanning booth?” I feel like I need my own meme for this.
Rachel Hollis told a similar story to this in her book. It was in one of the very beginning chapters. That is what gave me the ultimate courage to write this on my blog. It made me realize that if she pee’d her pants, then it’s probably a lot more common than I think it is and maybe I’ll get a little less judgement. If you are one of those people that has never had anything like that happen to you… Well I hope you at least got a laugh out of this story.